||July 30, 2011 06:29 pm|
|Arrogant & Pretentious LLP is Chicagoﾒs most prestigious law firm. We have been over-billing our clients for 178 years and keep growing . . . and growing . . . and growing.
At Arrogant & Pretentious LLP, we realize how rough the job market is. Its so bad, in fact, that unemployed lawyers are volunteering their services pro bono simply to make their resumes more attractive! When we heard that, at first we were all zomg, roflcopter, but like good American capitalists, we figured out a way to exploit the wealthiest within the unemployed: lawyers (you, e.g.).
We understand how many young, nooby lawyers were born with silver spoons in their mouths and still live off Daddyﾒs trust fund.
Since nothing looks better atop a resume than Arrogant & Pretentious LLP, we realize that in these tough times, we can charge our interns big bucks. This is America, after all; the Land of Opportunity.
We plan on ﾓhiringﾔ ten (10) interns to start. Since we donﾒt want unemployed people showing up at our main office everyday, we opened up a satellite office just for the new interns in Englewood at S Halsted Street and W 60th Place (great deal on rent btw).
There will not be any interviews, do not submit any resumes, cover letters, or writing samples. The job criterion is simple: be one of the ten highest bidders. We donﾒt even care what race or sex you are.
If this works out, we might be able to stop practicing law and just charge unemployed lawyers to be our interns. Alas, Sir Thomas More, though ﾑtis all but a dream.
Letﾒs keep the math simple, after all you are unemployed. The bidding will start at $60,000 per year (thatﾒs $5,000 a month, dummies). Ready, go!
For more information on the position, please visit our website.